A Fourth to Remember

Last Thursday I went to a celebration of life for a friend's husband. While I didn’t know her husband, I had worked with my friend for close to 25 years. I didn't know what I was going to hear that morning, but what I did hear was a tribute to a very human, human being. Our departed, a man who in the end fought a terminal illness, was only about 67 years old. He had a hard life. I don’t know the details and I don’t need that much detail to understand. What we would all learn was his early life changed dramatically and he was adopted before he was 5 years old. He didn’t grow up in a perfect home, he grew up and put up walls, the kind that protect you, but later, also help to alienate you. He served as a Marine for 4 years and that experience left both good and bad imprints on his life. He lived life hard, and was as hard on the people around him until about 15 years ago. It was then he realized he was far from a good father, and friend. When his daughter had a little girl, he worked harder to make those amends. He reconciled with his family, became a grandpa that his granddaughter loved. As he made those amends, he became again a member of his own family. This is not a unique story, but I found his service very unique because instead of sugar-coating this troubled life that had its bouts with substance abuse, it was real, a bit raw, but amazingly beautiful. The service was basically secular, the eulogist came from the funeral home. But the eulogist was amazingly raw and told of the decedent 's life troubles with an honesty I ‘ve never heard before. His delivery walked the fine line of talking about a man, but not judging him. Giving you just enough to understand that a human life comes with baggage, some you’re given, some you collect, but in the end, you can let go of that baggage if you truly want to. The speakers, his daughter, son and granddaughter all had a common theme, he was annoying, but we loved him. During the open mic, his brother in law got up and talked about how much he disliked him when he first met him, but he was a better man when he made the transformation from A**hole to Recovering A**hole. As the eulogist wrapped things up, he pointed to all the work the decedent did to make amends, and then used that as a reminder that the sooner we start making peace with our past the fewer amends we have to make. It was a beautiful service. Beautifully human, beautifully real and a beautiful reminder that we all walk a different path for many reasons, but we all can be loved, missed, and a gift to others. And it really can be a compliment to be called a recovering a**hole.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to show up. Showing up for someone is probably one of the most overlooked—and most important—things we can do for one another. This idea really came into focus a few months ago. A longtime friend found out that I was studying to become a Stephen Minister. He asked if there would be some kind of commissioning service. I told him yes—on the Sunday after Easter at 9:00 a.m. “I’ll be there,” he said. I must have looked a little surprised, because he added, “That’s something important in your life. It means a lot when people show up to experience it with you. I want to be there.” Before I could chalk that up as just one friend’s thoughtful quirk, our friends Michael and Angie heard about the commissioning and said the same thing: “We’ll be there.” I hadn’t thought much about it before, but knowing that friends were planning to attend made me unexpectedly happy. As we made final preparations for a brunch at our home afterward, my wife and I looked at each other and said, “Maybe we should invite a few more people.” Even with short notice, five more people came—beyond my immediate family. Then, just days before the commissioning, the idea of “showing up” took on even more meaning. That Friday, our youngest son, Smooch, was being sworn into the Colorado Air National Guard. The support he received from our friends Angie and Michael was incredible. When we learned that, as retired military, they could actually perform the swearing-in ceremony, it became yet another moment of people saying, “I’ll be there”—and meaning it. When we gathered at Buckley Space Force Base that day, there was his brother and sister-in-law and niece, who had taken time off work. My wife and I were there, of course, along with my brother, who came across town. And Angie and Michael had arranged their schedules not only to attend, but to play a meaningful role in marking the beginning of this new chapter in our son’s life. I’ll admit, I feel a little embarrassed. I’ve always tried to support people by attending important moments, but I never fully appreciated the power of simply showing up. But when I really think about it, giving someone your time and attention—especially when it costs you something, like rearranged schedules or time away from other responsibilities—is no small thing. The gift of presence may be one of the most meaningful gifts we can offer. I guess the best way to close this is with a thank you, to all of you who show up and support all the members of our family. You being there, your presence in our lives, makes us better,

After three weeks of setting up the new camper we finally decided to go out and give it a try We left on Thursday afternoon and headed down to Pueblo State Park. The City of Pueblo is about 90 miles from our house and we were able to make the drive in the afternoon and get through Colorado Springs before rush hour. As we neared Colorado Springs, we saw what appeared to be a wildfire and as we looked it up it was a fire on Ft Carson. It didn't impact our trip but was a stark reminder that our warm dry winter had consequences. Once we arrived at the campground we took our time setting things up. I've seen too many people in a hurry break things on their camper because they were in a rush. Also it was near 90 degrees! Pretty hot for the first day of Spring. Even taking our time, we were set up in a short amount of time. There are a number of things that change when you get a new camper. First you clean out the former one and you are hit with memory after memory. We specifically saved things from our trips, so our 2002 trip to Southern Illinois for family reunion and the cups from Steak and Shake that were still in the camper. The black eyed Pea kids cup with a lid and straw. Games we only played in the camper. The memories were thick and in our minds our two little boys were giggling in their bed. Many of those same things made it in to the new camper, it made it feel like home even though we were still getting used to it. Chat GPT has been my best friend since we got the camper. Since we did not buy it from Jayco dealer, we didn't get the detailed walk-through and use lesson. So as we had questions like: how to turn on the oven, or how the get the air conditioner thermostat to run, we turned to ChatGPT. In each case a picture of what I was working on and a description to Chat GPT and I got my lesson on how to use this and that. On our first night we decided to see how we liked the recliners and the TV. We used the antenna for a bit but quickly switched over to Kay's phone's hotspot and we watched Paramount plus and started to catch up on some series we fell behind in. That was nice. The night had cooled off an a nice breeze was blowing through the camper as we sat in our recliners. Now we did play some cards that night which is a camping tradition, but MLW beat me terribly at a game of rummy, so the TV was a nice change. On Friday we both had to work. As anticipated, the dining table and the recliners with their lap desks were great places to work from. Having the ability to turn on the air conditioning as the heat got up into the 90's again was very nice. We both were quite comfortable and got quite a bit of work done. When we called it a day we were out on the lake while the other campers pulled in and set up. We had reservations until Sunday at noon, but home obligations called, so we played all day on Saturday and then at 5 we packed up, got on the road before 6 and were home by 7:30. But Saturday included a longer mountain bike ride than we'd had on Friday and some more fun in our kayaks on the lake. While we were on the lake we had some excitement as we got to watch the water tankers that were fighting the fire come across the lake picking up water. Once they came in and we were on the opposite side of the lake but in their path. MLW yelled, are we going to die, I responded I hope not and as soon the worry came, it dissipated as the water tankers pulled up and turned toward the fire. I all we had a great trip and can't wait until we get it out again in late April, when we'll return to Pueblo again, this time with our friends the Colonels.

We awoke Monday morning and prepared to go see the camper. Freedom RV was 38 minutes from our hotel between the towns of Bonham and Dodd City. We got a little worried when Waze our direction app, took the last two miles of our trip and wove us through a quasi neighborhood of acreage properties, some pretty , some not. But we popped out onto another main road and there was Freedom RV. We pulled up and the owner was working on a small trailer and like everyone there, knew we were coming. We met Brenton our sales guy and while he showed us the trailer, the owner hooked up our weight distributing hitch. Brenton showed us around the camper, but they are not a Jayco dealer so there were a few things I taught him that I learned from my reading. But in all the trailer was in great shape. So after about an hour of poking around, we went inside and purchased it. At about 12:30 we pulled off their lot and headed to Amarillo where we's stay the night. Going from a 19' pop up that you can see over and tracks exactly with your vehicle and going to a 26' hard side was a big change. The Ford pulled it great. It has a towing setting that you put the info from the trailer into and then once you switch the transmission to heavy towing, it's amazing. The other thing the dealer got me ready for was the noise a weight distributing hitch makes. At slow speeds it pops and groan worse than aunt Betty getting out of bed at the home. About 39 miles down the road we stopped and got some lunch. The highway was more full than it had been on Sunday and to make matters a bit more challenging the wind started up. So down the road we went with a 30 mph+ cross wind. Even in these conditions the trailer pulled well, but there was a learning curve. Also where I usually drive about 5 mph over the limit, now I was driving 5 under the limit. The wind didn't let up and we finally got to Amarillo about and hour later than we anticipated. Our camping reservation was at the Big Texan RV park, just a mile away from the big Texan Steak House where you can try to eat their 72 oz steak. We pulled in and found our site. Hooking up was easy, but this was my first time unhooking a weight distributing hitch. The dealer explained what to do and after a try or two it actually worked! We had the trailer set up and we needed a quick run to Walmart and to get dinner. We decided instead of going to the Big Texan for dinner we'd eat in camper. So off we went. At Walmart I bought an extension mirror to make my rear view a bit better. We bought breakfast food for the morning and some beer to go with dinner. Then it was off to get dinner. At the urging of son #2, Smooch, who reasoned, you're in Texas, you have to eat at Buc-ee's! So 2 exits down I-40, gleaming in the glow of fluorescent light was Buc-ee's. It's 108 fuel pumps beckoning low gas tanks and it's brisket beckoning low stomachs. So in we went and we came out with our three-meat sandwiches, sides and some dessert. The back to the Big Texan to have dinner in our new camper. Colin was right, with a cold beer and a hot Buc-ee's sandwich, we were in camping red-neck heaven. In The morning we ate breakfast and packed up quickly. But the wind was already ramping up. As we drove toward the Texas/New Mexico border, the wind got stronger. A few times we would cross a semi coming the other direction and the wind wall it created was intense. One I hit I watched my hood almost ripple under the intense pressure of the wall of wind. It makes you start to appreciate what a trailer goes through in it's life. It's like a house that undergoes a several hour earthquake every time you use it. One we got onto highway 87 after the town of Hartley, we were on a 4 lane highway. The wind kept getting stronger but it seemed manageable, but as we closed in on the town of Texline, yes the town on the state line, we drove into a dust storm. Buffeted by the winds and the tumble weeds were now traveling in herds. At this point the wind reached a speed where it got scary. Plus you have to remember while we getting hit by winds of almost 50 mph, we're also traveling at 60-ish mph. so that earthquake your trailer is going through has now added at times, hurricane wind pressures with the two speeds of the wind and your traveling speed colliding. So in Texline we pulled over and snuggled up between two parked semis at the only truck stop in Texline. We pulled out our computers, moved into the camper and did some work. We sat in Texline for about 2.5 hours and the wind continued to buffet us and pelt the truck and camper with sand. Texline has little other commerce, so even though the wind was blowing hard, we pulled out of Texline to make the 18 miles to Clayton, NM a larger town. We white knuckled it to Clayton. There we found a nicer newer truck stop, some lunch and a place to park where we were still buffeted by wind but no sand. By this point I was watching the wind forecast for Clayton, Raton, NM and into Colorado. Earlier that day a dust storm in Pueblo, CO had a 30 car pileup with fatalities. The highway there was closed. I got mor work done as we waited, but it looked like at 5 pm the winds would be at 30 mph or lower, the gusts would be no higher than 40 mph and they were forecast to go down the rest of the evening. As planned we headed out at 5 pm, the winds were strong but not unmanageable. I drove about 10 miles under the 75mph speed limits ad as the time and miles ticked away, the drive got better. By Raton, the drive was pretty normal and the winds on the pass were manageable. An hour later we were detoured around the carnage that was the pile-up from earlier. There were still semis and cars piled in the highway and ditches. We couldn't help but think of the people who lost their lives just trying to get somewhere. While we were 7 hours behind schedule, we still had all our equipment in good order and we were fine. Our 775 mile 2 day trip to pulling the new trailer ended at 9:50 pm as we pulled into the driveway. I turned on the heat in the trailer as the temperature was supposed to dip below freezing. On Wednesday I'd winterize the water lines as colder weather was on it's way. Now we start making it our trailer. Packing, outfitting and prepping for our next trip is the fun and hopefully we'll get out in the second half of March. But when people ask "what did you do or Valentine's Weekend?" We can respond we made a great memory driving for 4 days and 1600 miles to bring home our new trailer.

We're sitting in a hotel in Denison, Texas as I write this. About a month ago, MLW and I went to a camper show, looking for our first hard side camper. With the kids grown, our 24 year old popup, while we love it, just isn’t as warm as we’d like it to be and that limits our ability to extend our camping season. When we replaced our old truck in ‘24, we did so expecting that we’d get a hard side trailer in the near future. As we were leaving the show, we found a trailer we really liked. It’s got a Murphy bed in it so you don’t lose all the space of the bed and you get a shorter camper. We liked the camper but they depreciate quickly, so we planned to buy a used one. The problem was this model has only been made since 2023. In 2024 they changed the styling to match the 2026 that we looked at. So I started a search for a 2024 model of this camper. Before we went to the show, I used Chat GPT to help me determine the best trailer weight and size for our truck. Not just weight, but driving it at altitude, what all we normally carry, etc. I got it set up so when I went to the show I just took a picture of the weight sticker and put it into Chat GPT and it would tell me how well my truck would pull the trailer. When I put in this one into Chat GPT, it said I’d pull it very well and why. Then I compared the answers with Ford’s info and confirmed it was correct. There were not any for sale near Colorado. I searched the national dealerships with little luck other than California and Georgia and other places on the east coast. In RV Trader I found one in Dodd City, TX. As I talked more with the dealer, I found that the trailer was lightly used by the one and only owner. The tires on it were made in 2023 and had only lost 1/32nd of tread. Everything I asked him for, proved his statement that it was used 4-5 times by the one owner was correct. I even pulled the VIN to make sure it had one owner and no listed accidents. The dry weight is correct as well. So we put down a deposit and yesterday we left home with the truck and headed to Texas. Our first day was down I-25 to Raton, NM and then south east to Amarillo. We got to Amarillo about 5pm, checked into our hotel and then went out for a Valentine's dinner. That is worth a story in itself, but it turned out well and we had a nice night. This morning we got up, had our very poor free breakfast at the hotel and headed out. First stop, the Cadillac Ranch to take pictures of the 10 Cadillacs half buried in the ground along 1-40 west of Amarillo. Then we headed east toward Denison. Lunch was in Wichita Falls and we got to Denison about 3:30. As we checked into the hotel, the realization that we were here with a check and the intent to buy a trailer, and then turn around and take it back home 600+ miles, I started to get a bit nervous. MLW and I took a nice walk around a lake in Denison and my anxiety dropped. We discussed the next day with our “what’s the worst thing that could happen” method we use often with decisions. And now I’m writing this. The plan is to be at the dealership tomorrow at 11 for our appointment, and inspect the heck out of the trailer, and if all is good, head back to Amarillo where we’ll sleep in it and then head for the final leg home on Tuesday. What will happen? You’ll have to come back and read this tomorrow or Wednesday.

We awoke Friday at 7 am. Our bodies tried to convince us it was actually 11 pm, but we fought through the fog and had a cup of coffee. Once dressed the four of us were off on the search for breakfast. Our first choice was a coffee shop that was full of locals. The dizzying pace at which the Italians got their espressos and pastries, stood and ate them and then paid and left, was intimidating. We were a bit timid and really did not get enough to eat as we enjoyed or coffees and MLW and I shared a chocolate croissant, and then we were off. Our next step was to get our 2 day vaporetto tickets, the ticket to the water bus. Getting the tickets was reasonably easy and then it was time to figure out how to get on the correct vaporetto that would correspond with Rick Steve’s Venice tour that uses the vaporetto. After almost getting on two other vaporetto lines, we finally found the correct one and we were off. He comical part was that as soon as we’d realize we were on the wrong platform Angie who is, uhm, height challenged, compact, not tall, you get the picture, would just walk under the gate and go to the next platform, while the rest of us, awkwardly had to bend over, climb over or some unflattering movement to get on the other side of the gates. The vaporetto was quite busy with Venetians going to work, tourists riding it and other tourists listening to the same Rick Steves tour we were listening to. We had a great overview of the grand canal and a quick history lesson. When we were at the other end of the line, we got off at St. Mark’s Square. We had our tickets to the Doge’s palace and decided to start the tour right then. The Doge’s palace was the palace of the Doge, the leader of Venice when it was a trading stronghold 600 years ago. As we walked through the tour listening to the prerecorded tour guide, the once wealth of Venice was overwhelming as you looked at antiquity after antiquity. What I found extremely interesting was the number of times the tour mentioned that a certain piece of artwork was now in the Louvre in France because Napoleon stole it. The tour ended by going over the bridge of sighs and through the prisons. By this point, 90 minutes or so since we started the tour, we were getting antiquity saturation and a bit hangry since we didn’t have much for breakfast. We grabbed a bit of lunch and checked in for an island tour of Murano, Burano and Torcello. Once on the boat our first stop was Murano, the Venetian island known for glass blowing. Here we had about a 20 minute grass blowing demonstration. First the glass blower made a beautiful pitcher. It had a swirl design to the glass and an elegant handle. He held it up to his audience and after a clapping approval, the glass blower took the vase still attached to his blowing rod and smacked it in the oven dropping the glass back into the molten glass in the furnace. I guess they had enough pitchers! Next he made a horse. Again, in minutes, and again the glass was returned to the molten glass in the furnace. After the demo we were escorted into their showroom. We purchased a few gifts and had just enough time to walk a bit down the waterfront and it was time to get back on the boat. Our next stop was Torcello. Torcello was the first inhabited island of the Venetian islands. It’s claim to fame was a very old church. It had few inhabitants and the stop was basically a long walk to the church and a long walk back. Not much to see in Torcello. Our final island was Burano, the island known for lace making. This island was known to MLW and I because it was featured in the Hallmark “The Veil” series. It’s famous for its brightly colored shops and buildings and of course the women who patiently make beautiful lace. We walked around and I ate my first gelato. Oh my gosh! now I know why everyone told me to eat gelato in Italy. We walked a bit more and then it was time to get back on the boat and return to Venice.

Part 1. The Trip Begins

If you attend enough of my companies meetings, you’ll be shown the scene from City Slickers where Billy Crystal’s character (Mitch) and Jack Palance’s character (Curley) have a discussion where Curley explains that the secret to a happy life is figuring out your 1 thing. This movie and the concept of "your 1 thing" was a favorite of our founder Pete Harman. If you want to refresh your memory, here’s a clip of that scene, I tried shorter versions, but you really need the three minutes:

The more posts I write, the more I learn the most popular posts are about my bees. I’m fine with that because I love my bees. They spent another summer teaching me how to coexist with them and how we can help each other. As our communication improves so does their health and honey production. How did the summer go? You’ll remember I had to start from scratch this spring with 4 packages of bees that I bought as 2 pairs a week apart from two different companies. My luck with the bee packages did not go as planned. I got two “dud” queens and within two weeks they were both missing from the hive, maybe killed by her own subjects. Thankfully in May I captured my first swarm. Capturing my first swarm was a beekeeper's dream come true. My friend and neighbor Steve was telling me there was this big clump of wasps on their tree near their horses and his wife was concerned for their horses. Well I knew something was wrong because wasps all die in the winter but the queen, who has to emerge in the spring and start building a nest. So in the Spring there just aren’t big clumps of wasps. I asked if he'd show it to me and sure enough, it was a swarm of honeybees looking for a new home. To me the swarm was $150 just hanging in a tree waiting for me to give them a lovely hive to live in. I captured them and they happily accepted their new hive as their new home and then a week or so later I merged the frisbee hive with them who no longer had a queen. This hive did very well over the summer. The hive I call the Newbees also had a dud queen and they too were later joined into the hive that I captured. My most incredible hive was the Frisbees who produced two supers of honey that I could harvest. That’s 20 frames of honey. The Air BnBees produced about 12 frames and the Gumbees about 5 frames. In total my three hives produced 95 lbs. of honey or just a bit over 8 gallons. What am I going to do with all that honey? Sell it of course. Interested? You can purchase my honey at the bottom of the blog. I’m going into winter with three hives I feel really good about. In the Spring between buying bees and splitting hives I hope to have 8 hives running next summer. That is too many to have on just our property so I’ve secured a couple of locations to put hives. That of course will mean more capital investment into my bees, much of which I hope will come from honey sales. This was a fun year. I tried a number of new things. I learned how to move hives and how not too. I merged more hives and felt much more confident in the things I did. Of course the more new things I tried, I also got stung more. Some of that was because I thought I had on enough protection and then I did something stupid that made the bees agitated.. It’s funny, ”how many times have you been stung?” is a question I often get asked. Even funnier I can tell you how often I got stung. My first year, zero, my second year, 3 times, this year so far I’m pretty sure it’s been 7 times. Yes it hurts, but not as bad as I remembered and it goes away for me quickly. Unlike yellow jacket stings that just seem to burn and burn, most stings on my hands just hurt for 10 minutes and then go away. We had a very long fall, I could have had another honey harvest had I known we weren’t going to get a freeze in September or October. But it did allow my bees to store a lot of honey for the winter. So as long as mother nature cooperates, I’ll hopefully have 3 hives in the Spring. Here's that link: